My kids haven’t learned that people suck.

People suck. Well, not you. You obviously don’t suck. 

Continue reading

Children are like coma patients.

Here’s how I see it:

Newborns are like hamsters. You handle them carefully while making reassuring sounds that let them know you’re not going to eat them. Continue reading

I’m not supposed to be doing this.

I’m supposed to be writing my novel. Continue reading

Let’s talk about Dex.

This post was Jill’s idea.

“Hey Jeff, why don’t you write a post about Dexter’s dad?”
“What? Oh, yeah . . . that might be interes—”
“JUST WRITE IT!!” Continue reading

Children are like crack. Crack cocaine in case that wasn’t clear.

by Jeff

I’ve gotten into discussions with childless friends about what it’s like to be childful. Continue reading

Say hello to my little friend.

by Jeff

Meet Tommy. He’s not going to sit nice for your photo. He doesn’t give a shit how much you want him to. Continue reading