Tagneighbors

THE RETURN OF MONOTONE JOE

I’ll admit it. Before, I may have been a bit of an alarmist. Before, I think I jumped the gun. Before, I didn’t know the range on Monotone Joe’s spectrum of paranoia. Before, I had no idea how loosely held together he is.

Then I came home and found my neighbor, Monotone Joe, in my mulberry. Continue reading

SO MUCH BLOWING

I am not a turtle. I’m a person. And because I’m a person, I have to deal with people. It’s part of the package that includes opposable thumbs and getting to eat all the other animals. I understand that animals also have to deal with people. Especially the animals that get eaten. Even turtles. But they don’t have to pretend to like people. And that’s the point I’m getting at. Turtles don’t make points. Continue reading

PARANOID PARENTING

by Jeff

When I was nine, I would go to bed with my arms folded neatly on my chest in case I died in my sleep. Continue reading

Front Yard Jungleland: a DIY Tip on How to Meet the Neighbors

If you ask my mom, there’s an ever-increasing problem in the world today—no one sits on the front porch anymore. Or hangs out on the stoop. Continue reading

I have been to the vortex.

I have been to the vortex and I have returned with lessons. And also very dry skin. Continue reading

MONOTONE JOE IS GOING TO KILL ME

I haven’t posted in a while because life. But this post became a top priority after a brief 5-minute conversation with my neighbor. It seems someone stole his sunflowers. Continue reading