Just be Happy.

“What should I be when I grow up?”

“You can be whatever you want to be. Just be happy.” Continue reading


Jill yearned to sell everything and live full-time in a motorhome. For her, there existed no stronger pull than the allure of going right to the precipice of civilization and then continuing over without even slowing down. Falling into the unknown, knowing only that it’s the surest way to know you’re fucked. The sultry mix of gas fumes, septic aromas, and barely chilled vegetables rotting in an overworked traveling refrigerator combined to form an irresistible fragrance that marked a life on the move. To pack all of our belongings and hit the open road in search of deep, irreplaceable memories full of irreparable emotional traumas, that was a call she could not silence and her heart refused to ignore. Continue reading


When I was twelve, my aunt bought a trailer and dropped it in a gravel parking lot in Monticello, Indiana. It was her summer home. Every weekend she would drive the two and a half hours to sit in air conditioned gloom and read while my cousins bothered her for quarters to play at the arcade that was further up the lot.

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I’ve been feeling really bad about myself lately. All of my blogger buddies are getting into anthologies or winning awards and I have a bunch of worthless, unfunny posts drafted. And the one post I’m willing to publish is just me whining to my few readers about my craptastic writing. Probably the stupidest route to take.

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That one time I went into an adult bookstore way before I was an adult–and I didn’t buy one book.

This post is either going to be really funny or just pointlessly gross and inappropriate–and therefore, funny. Let’s find out together!

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I was a dog. Conditioned to cringe at the sound of a ringing telephone or the crackle of a two-way radio. I wore both on my belt and they screamed at me all day, their combined weight tugging on my jeans with every step. Continue reading