MonthOctober 2015

Seven Keys to Having the Best Dining Experience Possible at Panda Express

I’m going to give you the lowdown on how to order from your favorite white-washed Asian-themed food chain.

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CHIPOTLE RANT

I want to get something straight–my role in any restaurant is to eat the food, not prepare it. And I’d love to get an answer from whoever cooked up Chipotle’s asinine business model: Do you see me as a customer or a consultant? Because I might have to send you a bill.

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Individuals Who I Wish to Strike in the Neck Area

I’ve read Jen FUCKING Mann’s new book and I’ve been inspired.

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WE MEET AGAIN

Recently, the fam and I went to La Carolina del Norte. A lot of stuff happened. Some stuff involving goats. And worse. But we’re not going to relive any of that. Best to repress those memories as soon as possible. Before the horror sets in. The only thing I want to talk about–the only thing worth focusing on–is my latest run-in with an old nemesis; THE PANCAKE MACHINE.

GET OUT OF MY BRAIN, GOAT!

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