MonthNovember 2014

At the petting zoo.

Oh there are so many wonderful things to see at the petting zoo. So many glorious animals to pet and cute animals to zoo! Continue reading


I am not a turtle. I’m a person. And because I’m a person, I have to deal with people. It’s part of the package that includes opposable thumbs and getting to eat all the other animals. I understand that animals also have to deal with people. Especially the animals that get eaten. Even turtles. But they don’t have to pretend to like people. And that’s the point I’m getting at. Turtles don’t make points. Continue reading

Confessions of an ALTAR BOY

When I was 12, my buddy Brian was scheduled to serve mass for a week in the summer. It was the 6:30 am mass. The other server backed out because what the hell–it was the 6:30 am mass in summer–and instead of going through the procedure of calling the other servers on the list of people who had actually signed up to be altar boys, Brian just snagged me. Continue reading

I won a Twitter contest at work and everyone lost their shit.

I work in a marketing firm. About a year ago, I sold my bosses on a new brand campaign, complete with a shiny new hashtag for the social medias. I promised them it would be a great way to engage with their audience and establish a distinctive brand and everything else they pay me to tell people. Continue reading