This post is a treat from Past Jeff. I was looking through old files and found something Past Jeff wrote just for me. Oh Past Jeff, what zany thoughts do you have for us today??
I don’t want to say that I’ve had too much bacon. But I had too much bacon—if you even believe that there’s any such thing as too much bacon.
Bacon is hot right now. Hot and spitting on your unprotected forearms. Everyone wants it. I know vegamatarians who “cheat” occasionally with bacon. There are bacon martinis. And bacon flavored sex lubricant.
I love bacon. If you let bacon grease cool and congeal and spread it on a cake like frosting and stick candles in the cake and put it before me in a dark room and sing happy birthday to me, I’d make a wish and blow out the candles and the wish would come true because then I would eat my wish. The bacon frosting would be my wish. It’s always my wish. My only wish.
I considered getting a bacon grill.
I like bacon so goddamned much.
All of you other bitches are just bandwagon jumpers. You’re like the bacon rainbow after the flavor storm.
You tell ’em, Past Jeff! Thanks for checking in!